What We Learned After Taking Our Biggest Risk Yet - Reflections on Dawn's first week on OF

Last week, Dawn and I opened up a side of our relationship that we’ve kept private for years. If you’ve followed us for any amount of time, you know that we share a lot about our marriage, our devotion, and our 24/7 D/s dynamic. But until now, one part of our life has stayed behind the curtain: our sexuality.

That changed when Dawn announced she was starting an OnlyFans account.

It was a big decision. Vulnerable. A little scary. Definitely not something we arrived at lightly or flippantly. For months, we wrestled with what it would mean, why it mattered, and what we wanted to create together.

We didn’t make this move because of a trend, and certainly not because we needed more attention or money (although the money definitely plays into some of Dawn's most intense kinks).

We made it because of what Dawn’s body, and our truth, made undeniably clear.

If you’ve listened to us for any amount of time, you know this has always been our core message:

Listen to your body. Trust its wisdom. Stop letting the mind and its fear, ego, and stories run the show. 

That’s what we did. We followed what felt right for us. And here’s what happened next.

The Fear Was Mostly Illusion

When we hit “publish” on the announcement, we waited to see how it would be received. We trusted it, but still, we knew it was a big shift. And overall, the response was overwhelmingly supportive and positive. 

Two minutes after the announcement email went out, this came in:

“I won’t be subscribing, but I congratulate you both on your freedom and in leading by example, showing people what it’s like to fully follow the erotic, life-giving force. This is so blocked off in most people. It is God’s work to unblock it at scale.” 

That one brought tears to our eyes. It was the perfect reflection of what this step really represents:

When you unblock the erotic, life-giving force in yourself, you access an energy most people never touch. 

The overwhelming tone of the feedback wasn’t judgment. It was respect. Encouragement. Even excitement for Dawn. It reminded me that most of our fears about being seen for who we truly are? They’re illusions.

What the Negative Reactions Revealed

About 2% of the responses were negative. And honestly, they were fascinating because they exposed something deeper than disapproval. They exposed illusions about masculinity, about love, about spirituality.

Illusion #1: Masculinity Means Control

One woman asked me:

“If a masculine man is naturally territorial and protective, isn’t giving other men access to Dawn, even through a screen, passive and unmasculine?” 

Here’s the problem: this assumes masculinity is rooted in jealousy and insecurity.

True strength isn’t about controlling a woman to keep yourself safe. It’s about being so grounded in yourself that you can protect her freedom, not cage it.

Protection through control is just suppression in disguise. 

My love for Dawn is unconditional. Not “as long as you make me comfortable” love. The deeper I’ve healed, the more I’ve realized that my devotion means setting her free, not putting her under a new set of rules that serve my ego.

Illusion #2: Love Can Survive Without Honesty

A few people told us:

“I can’t learn from you anymore. This makes everything you’ve taught irrelevant.” 

If admiration turns to rejection overnight, that wasn’t love. That was illusion. You had us placed in a box that wasn't really who we are.

And this isn’t just about us, it’s about relationships everywhere. If someone can’t be honest with you without losing your acceptance, intimacy is impossible. You’ll live in performance, not love.

Illusion #3: Spirituality Looks a Certain Way

One subscriber even said she was disappointed because our OnlyFans content didn’t feel “divine” enough. Here’s the truth:

Spirituality isn’t aesthetics. It’s presence and honesty. 

It’s not angelic filters and perfect lighting. It’s messy, raw, feral, passionate. It’s laughter and kink and worship all wrapped together without performance.

What Surprised Me Most

Two insights stood out this week:

• 80% of our early subscribers were women. Most wanted to see if love, devotion, and kink can coexist in a real relationship.

• The most honest responses from men weren’t lust, they were envy. Men wrote saying they wished they could experience the kind of trust and freedom in their marriage that makes this possible. That says everything about what men really crave: not control, but a woman fully alive. And their desire to help make this possible for her.

The Real Lesson

This isn’t about OnlyFans. It’s about freedom.

About being so rooted in truth that you can live without apology. About creating a relationship where both people can bring their full selves without fear.

So if there’s one takeaway, it’s this:

Stop performing for approval. Stop making others perform for your comfort. The intimacy you want will only come when truth is welcome on both sides. 

There’s so much more in the full episode, including how we navigated our own fears, why this move didn’t change who we are, and what these reactions reveal about culture, control, and love.

🎧 Listen to Episode 96: Bringing Love Into Dark Places 

Watch on YouTube