What Submission Really Requires - Dom Sub Devotion Episode 85

In a world obsessed with aesthetics, performance, and intellectual understanding, it’s easy to confuse the image of devotion with the embodiment of it.

We see it all the time.

A woman trying to be submissive—but from her head.

A man trying to be dominant—but from his fear.

Both performing roles that look convincing on the outside, but lack the weight of truth.

In Episode 85 of the Dom Sub Devotion podcast, I had the deep pleasure of speaking with Ginger Kern (@mythicfeminine)—a woman whose voice, body, and clarity have become a transmission of what it means to live truthfully as the feminine.

And what we explored together was this:

Devotion is not a posture.

Leadership is not a pose.

And submission—true submission—isn’t something you do. It’s who you become when truth lives in your body.

Truth Over Integrity

One of the first and most radical distinctions we made was this: truth matters more than integrity. 

Why?

Because most people define “integrity” through the lens of ego. They’re in integrity with their idea of themselves, or the image they want to project, or a system of values they haven’t questioned since childhood.

But truth? Truth doesn’t bend.

Truth will gut you and rearrange your life.

Truth will ask you to let go of your image.

Truth will strip you bare—and then offer you something real in return.

And that’s why, in our relationship, truth is the highest value. 

For men who want to be Dominant, this is everything. If you want her to surrender to you—not perform for you, not obey you from fear, but truly melt—you have to become the embodiment of truth.

Not your truth.

Not masculine truth.

Capital-T truth. 

The truth that pulses beneath reality itself. The truth that makes her body feel safe. The truth that holds her grief and her orgasm in the same breath.

She can’t trust you if you’re not in submission to that. 

The Hungry Mind and the Collapse of Desire

One of the things Ginger named so clearly in our conversation was the epidemic of the hungry mind—especially in women.

This obsessive need to “figure it out.”

The endless scrolling. The courses. The books. The workshops.

All in pursuit of some elusive key to finally “doing it right.”

But here’s the catch:

The more you try to do submission, the more disconnected you become from the actual experience of being submissive.

Desire isn’t something you figure out. It’s not something you manufacture.

Desire is the pulse of life moving through your body.

Sometimes that looks like longing. Sometimes it looks like grief. Sometimes it looks like rage or tears or hunger or stillness.

But if you’re thinking about it, you’re not in it.

And the more a woman tries to perform her desire—because she’s trying to be the right kind of submissive—the more she cuts herself off from the very pulse that would make her magnetic, devotional, and alive.

Masculine Leadership Is a Submission to Truth

Let’s say it plainly.

You can’t lead her if you’re leading from control.

You can’t claim her if you haven’t claimed yourself.

You can’t expect her obedience if your backbone is built on performance or posturing.

She will feel it. Even if she doesn’t know she feels it, her body will close. Her voice will retreat. Her energy will guard itself.

And here’s where the real shift happens:

A woman can submit fully and freely to a man who is fully submitted to truth.

That doesn’t mean he’s perfect.

It doesn’t mean he never fucks up.

It means he is devoted—moment by moment—to being honest with himself, with her, and with life.

That kind of man?

She will melt for him.

She will ache for him.

She will choose him over and over again—not from obligation, but from turn on.

The Erotic Cost of Performance

This is the part most people don’t talk about.

When submission is performance, it kills desire.

When Dominance is posturing, it kills respect.

And when polarity becomes a costume, the relationship becomes a play.

The thing we’re all after—raw, devotional, anchored erotic power—can’t survive in performance.

It can only be born in presence.

It can only deepen through trust.

It can only thrive in the safety of truth.

So if you’re listening to this and asking, “Okay, but how do I do that?”

Stop.

Breathe.

Drop in.

Feel your jaw. Your belly. Your spine.

Let your body show you what you’re avoiding.

And then listen—not to your thoughts, not to the shoulds, not to the stories.

Listen to what’s true. 

Because that’s the only place real desire lives.

Final Words: The Gift of Sacred Power Exchange

Dominance and submission, at their deepest level, aren’t power dynamics.

They are truth dynamics. 

They are the embodied dance of reality itself—masculine and feminine, structure and flow, presence and pulse, mountain and river.

If you want to live that dance in real life—if you want a woman who surrenders because she’s safe and ravished and free, not because she’s scared or trying to be good—then the work isn’t out there.

It’s in your own spine.

Your own voice.

Your own devotion to truth.

And when both partners take that seriously?

The dynamic becomes something holy.

Not because it’s perfect.

But because it’s real. 

Want more? 

→ Follow Ginger on Instagram: @mythicfeminine

→ Get the full episode at infinitedevotion.com or wherever you listen to podcasts