Question Everything: Why the Life You’re Living Might Not Be Yours

(And How to Finally Make It Yours Without Burning It All Down) 

Most people are living by rules they never wrote.

Rules about what love should look like.

Rules about what it means to be a “good person.”

Rules about what success is supposed to be.

And here’s the kicker...most of those rules came from someone else. Parents. Teachers. Religion. Culture. Sometimes from people who didn’t even live by those rules themselves. But we took them on, built our lives around them, and never stopped to ask if they were even ours to begin with.

That’s why I say: question everything.

Not to rebel. Not to destroy your life for the sake of destruction. But to live in truth. Because if a belief is real, questioning it only makes it stronger. And if it’s not… you’ve just uncovered a cage you didn’t know you were in.

Either way, you win.

Why We Avoid Asking the Hard Questions

We don’t avoid questioning because we know we’re right.

We avoid questioning because we’re afraid of what the truth might cost.

If you’ve built your marriage, your career, or your identity around a belief, and that belief turns out not to be true, things are going to change. And change is scary.

You might have to stop using monogamy as your guarantee against abandonment.

You might have to stop calling yourself a “nice guy” and start setting boundaries that risk people not liking you.

You might have to stop believing that wanting more money is selfish, and start actually taking actions that will help you live a more abundant life. 

Questioning forces you to face the possibility that parts of your life might not survive your honesty.

And that’s exactly why it’s worth it.

The Cost of Not Questioning

When we don’t question our beliefs, we’re not protecting truth, we’re protecting fear.

We shrink our lives to fit inside someone else’s rules. We keep relationships, jobs, and images alive, not because they’re real, but because they’re familiar. We mistake control for love.

I’ve seen it in myself. I’ve seen it in men who cling to “being a good guy” at the expense of their own boundaries. I’ve seen it in women who’ve been told their whole lives, “Never rely on a man,” and then wonder why intimacy feels impossible.

When you build a life on fear, it doesn’t matter how pretty it looks on the outside, it’s hollow on the inside.

The Three Questions That Change Everything

You don’t have to burn your life down overnight. You can start small. Here are three questions I come back to over and over:

1. Who told me this was true? 

   And were they actually living it themselves, or just passing it down?

2. Who benefits from me believing this? 

   Because every unquestioned belief serves someone. The question is, does it serve you?

3. What am I afraid would happen if I stopped believing this? 

   That fear? That’s the real thing running your life.

If your truth can’t survive those questions, it was never truth, it was a cage.

You Might Lose What Was Never Real

When Dawn and I left the institutional church years ago, we lost our entire social circle in a single day. People we thought were our friends disappeared overnight.

It hurt. There was grief. But it was also clarifying, because if you have to stay in someone’s “club” to keep their love, it’s not love.

The reality is this: when your inner world changes, your outer world has to change too. That’s not a sign you’re on the wrong path. It’s proof you’re stepping into the right one.

Why This Matters for Love, Power Exchange, and Freedom

In power exchange dynamics, unexamined beliefs are like hidden landmines.

If you’re a Dominant leading from these unconscious beliefs, you’ll end up controlling instead of leading.

If you’re a submissive obeying from them, your submission becomes performance, not devotion.

You can’t build trust, passion, or erotic energy inside a cage of unexamined morality and fear. You can’t kneel in truth while your inner life is ruled by old scripts.

Real love, the kind that’s alive and electric, requires freedom.

And freedom requires questioning.

Devotion Isn’t Blind Faith. It’s Fierce Honesty.

If you take one thing from this: questioning isn’t rebellion. It’s devotion.

Devotion to truth.

Devotion to yourself.

Devotion to real love, real freedom, and a life that’s actually yours.

It’s not comfortable. It won’t win you universal approval. But it will give you the one thing you can’t get by performing: a life that belongs to you.

Start with one belief. One fear. One question.

Because when you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.

And so do you.

This post was inspired by Episode 98 of the Dom Sub Devotion podcast: “Question Everything — The Path to Real Love and Freedom.” 

If you want to hear more stories, real-life examples, and how this plays out inside relationships and D/s dynamics, you can listen here: https://infinitedevotion.com/podcasts/dom-sub-devotion