The Truth About Monogamy, Non-Monogamy, and Devotion | Infinite Devotion Episode 129

Monogamy or openness, which one is right? I think most people are defending a position to avoid their own fear.

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A short answer I gave about monogamy in a Q&A has stayed with me ever since, so this episode goes all the way into it. Humans don't behave like naturally monogamous creatures, and bouncing between casual connections leaves people just as empty. I look at how monogamy gets used to lock love down and avoid abandonment, and how non-monogamy gets used to spread attachment so thin that no one gets close enough to hurt you. The language is different, and the fear underneath is the same.

I also take on the myth of the high value man, and why the man chasing status has the least of it. Then I get into default monogamy versus conscious devotion: a daily choice to go all the way into one person and stay in the heat long enough for it to burn something away. Dawn and I didn't set out on this path. It came from my drive to solve one paradox: how you have intense, passionate sex with the person you love most, in a way that gets better over time.

Devotion is what lets love and desire keep growing with one person over the long term. Rapture is our flagship course for couples, built from everything Dawn and I have lived inside that fire. Start it here:
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