No More Mr. Nice Guy: Why Nice Guys Can't Be Dominant Men | Infinite Devotion Episode 118
Why can't a nice guy be a Dominant man? Seven lessons from No More Mr. Nice Guy, and what they changed in me.
FREE for dominant men: 12 Steps To Dominance
https://infinitedevotion.com/12-steps-to-dominance?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=audio&utm_campaign=ds_ep118&utm_content=notes_top
GO DEEPER: Becoming a Dominant Man, the 12-step path to the authentic Dominance she can trust
https://infinitedevotion.com/becoming-a-dominant-man?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=audio&utm_campaign=ds_ep118&utm_content=notes_top
No More Mr. Nice Guy by Dr. Robert Glover is on the reading list for the men in Becoming a Dominant Man, because it takes a guy out of fixing mode and into introspection. In this episode I take the biggest lessons I've pulled from it and show how each nice guy pattern works against dominance, and what integrated dominance looks like instead. We start with covert contracts, the silent deals where you give so she'll give back, and why she can feel the hidden agenda even when you can't. Then approval seeking, the feeling of being in trouble when she's unhappy, and why your power can't live inside her reaction.
I talk about why your needs matter as much as hers, the difference between caretaking and caring, and why a Dominant man is kind and generous without always being nice. We get into using structure to manage her emotions, secret lives and hidden browser tabs, and why you need other men when everything you learned about being a man came from pleasing women. The last lesson ties it together: stop performing and be direct, so she gets a real chance at a no, and at an authentic yes. And I share what actually changed this in me: Dawn stopped tolerating it.
Becoming a Dominant Man is built on the 12 steps I mention here, starting with total responsibility for your own life and taking care of yourself first. No More Mr. Nice Guy is on its reading list, and every Wednesday you get a call with other men doing this same work. Start it here:
https://infinitedevotion.com/becoming-a-dominant-man?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=audio&utm_campaign=ds_ep118&utm_content=notes_bridge
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Andrew Reign's book, Infinite Devotion: How Love and Desire Grow Together for a Lifetime: infinitedevotion.com/book
