Topping From The Bottom: Understanding and Addressing the Control Mechanisms of submissives | Infinite Devotion Episode 51

When she has agreed to follow, why does she still grab for control? Dawn and I look at topping from the bottom from both sides.

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A submissive commits to follow, and she also commits to speak up and use her voice. Sometimes those two feel like they are in direct conflict. Dawn and I talk about how most of the grasping for control comes from a part of her that doesn't feel safe, and how her fear can set off fear in the Dominant too, until we are both just reacting to each other. Dawn shares what it was like early on, when the reactions came so fast she couldn't see them, and why letting go was worth it.

I share what I have had to learn as the man in this: I can't talk to her fear about her fear, so I let her ego be right in that moment and stay standing until the storm blows through. We get into why her biggest reactions often point at her biggest truths, surrendering the timeline, and why non-reactivity means I stop defending myself. Dawn talks about why seeing me fall apart and own it builds her trust, and I share how I vent in my journal the next morning so I can show up better next time.

Topping from the bottom shows up where your agreements, your communication and how you handle reactions are still unclear. Structuring Your D/s Dynamic walks you through building that structure together so her voice and your leadership both have a place. Start it here:
https://infinitedevotion.com/structuring-your-ds-dynamic?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=audio&utm_campaign=ds_ep051&utm_content=notes_bridge

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