Handling a submissive woman's emotions | Infinite Devotion Episode 26
What does a Dominant do with his submissive's sadness, anger and grief? Dawn asks me how I learned to receive all of it as love.
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GO DEEPER: Becoming a Dominant Man, the 12-step path to the authentic Dominance she can trust
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Dawn turns the questions on me in this one: what it's been like, as her Dominant, to receive the full range of her emotions. Early on, every time she felt sad or upset, I tried to change it. I called it love and I meant it as love, but underneath it was my own discomfort and my defenses against being hurt by a woman's feelings. I share the conversation on our couch when I told her I would receive all of her emotions as her love for me, and why submission is an inherently emotional experience.
We get into the loop most couples get caught in, where she controls to avoid feeling and he protects himself from her feelings, and the two ways a Dominant can use his authority: to shut her up or to set her expression free. Dawn talks about the anger she never let herself feel, punching pillows on the bed while I sat with her, and the harder moments when that anger turned toward me. For the men who think she's crazy, I explain why her emotional chaos is where her affection, desire and aliveness come from, and how holding it has made me steadier everywhere, even pulling our camper through near misses on the road.
Staying present and open while she feels everything is some of the deepest inner work a Dominant man can do. Becoming a Dominant Man is the 12-step path I took to build that strength. Start it here:
https://infinitedevotion.com/becoming-a-dominant-man?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=audio&utm_campaign=ds_ep026&utm_content=notes_bridge
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