Today's episode is going to be all about why you would choose submission.
And for a lot of people who listen to our podcast and who search it out and find it, they're already probably gonna have their own reasons for why they would want to choose submission for themselves.
So really the purpose behind this episode is to explore more deeply for you, why you choose it and what it's been for you and why, why not choose one of the alternatives instead for yourself and what I really want to be able to share through our conversation in this episode is for your own sake, what submission has done for your life, both for those who maybe are exploring this for themselves and wondering how it would play out in their, in their real life, but also for dominants who might come across this and so that they can see what submission really is and makes possible for their partner and why it really is a gift that we get to give to our submissive in, in making and creating and holding the physical and emotional space for this kind of surrender.
Yeah.
So I guess to start with submission is a choice.
This is a, a freely chosen consensual way that you've chosen to live your life.
And we've outlined in past episodes for people that you didn't really know what submission even was or meant when we started down this path.
Not really, but, you know, pretty well now from a felt sense experience of it.
Yes, absolutely.
So, at some point along the line you realized for yourself, what submission really meant to you.
So what does it mean to you to be submissive? Well, there's a lot of um routes I could take with that.
I can, I could go really deep pick one.
But first and foremost, it's following, it's following who I have discerned to give myself completely and wholly too with the trust that I am going to be protected, provided for.
Um just completely loved and looked after like I was the rarest gem.
You could find that was so valuable that yeah, you know, in my case, it's you wouldn't want to lose and like, yeah, I'm gonna leave it at that in the moment.
So this is something that, you know, you weren't pressured into or forced into.
No, it was a choice that you made for yourself and one that I had to allow you to make, by the way, in excruciating fashion when I didn't know what you would choose or whether or not he would follow me down this path.
And in all reality, there were plenty of times.
I thought you were gonna say no, that you weren't gonna follow me down this path.
But we live in a world where there are a lot of different, there are a lot of choices that any woman can make for how you want to relate, how you want to be in relationship with a partner.
The vast majority of relationships are lived in equality.
So why would you not choose equality? 5050 even Steven um I've never wanted that.
Like I don't, I don't even know what it's like to desire that.
So while I didn't know what the word submission really meant, like I have the felt soul experience of it now.
And so I think it makes more sense to dive deeper into that part of it.
Um But for me, I've never ever been driven to, I'm going to say it this way.
Be that boss, babe, be that alpha female, be that leader, be that Yeah, independent woman.
I can do it all for myself.
I've never ever felt like that's what I wanted.
And now that being said, it also wasn't displayed to me um in my experience as a child growing up, it wasn't that women didn't work, it wasn't that they were the career driven.
Um Like I want this, I need this for myself kind of drive.
And I don't, I, I as for equality, I, I just like even putting myself in that trying to feel what that would be like, it would be really, really detrimental to me if I had to try to be that because in all reality, men and women are so different and like there are things that a mom brings to Children if you have Children that a man can't bring and vice versa.
And so I had Children at a younger age than many people do.
Um, and so I did, in my earlier adult years, I did have to bring a lot forward and it was really, really exhausting.
And what I didn't realize was how much I was just living kind of with my head down in a survival mode because I had to do whatever was in front of me and be really responsible and take care of some kids who needed me.
And so like, I like even an hour earlier years together, I didn't have as much even to give of myself because I was so disconnected from myself.
And if I'm disconnected from myself, I'm disconnected from everyone else and the world and every experience that I had, like there was a, a lack of experiencing the depth of life.
And so when you, you know, I know we, we've talked about this before, but when you first asked me um to be your submissive, I don't remember the exact words that you talked about are used, but it was really what I remember experiencing was the words that I've already used that you would protect me, that you would provide for me, that you would lead me to an even better life.
And now back then, I really didn't know what that meant.
But I also came to that point of call it faith that I was going to jump in and I was going to follow you.
Not any sort of like what it meant to be a submissive.
I was gonna follow you where you would take us in life.
And at the beginning, there was a lot of still unconscious operating.
But as my life and as you created more space for me in my own life and our life to lives together, um I slowly started to see more and more of what submission really meant and what following you really meant.
And somewhere along the journey, I really, I, I felt like I connected to God for real in a way that I hadn't ever experienced before.
And what came really, really apparent to me was I was connecting to God through you.
And at first I was like, I, this is really hard to understand, but again, it was trying to understand with my mind and you can't logic your way into your body at all.
And so also throughout this process was connecting more and more to my body.
And I like it's, it's a little vague, but um there was just this trust that whatever you were bringing forth for us, whatever you were bringing forth for me.
I, I would feel, I would feel it in my body.
The way you've said it before is that you would, you would know when there was truth.
Yeah.
Like there was call it a visceral response in my body.
And many times when a truth was spoken, it would be tears and like it would, it's, it would be something that just washed over me and it would be this immediate like flip of a switch.
Everything is all great.
But it, every time I experienced that life showed me where I was going down my own path, I was attached to an identity, I was attached to having my way.
I was attached to certain outcomes which is control.
And but on the other hand, I would say, well, no, I don't have a complete control over life, but unconsciously, I was living like I tried and you know, that's because we are trying to create this safety for ourselves in the world.
And so every time that I would feel this truth spoken from you, like my trust in you deepened, it felt like my willingness to follow you deepened and the way you, you would speak to me about these things and draw them forth out of me.
Like there was no, there was no um arguing with it.
Like I, I felt it, I, I couldn't say no, even if my ego did.
And I would, I would live in that dissonance and let the truth prevail.
And I would always be shown that the way I was trying to operate in life in whatever the circumstance was at the time that it wasn't best for me anymore.
So choosing the route of submission over equality or let's say over having it your way, choosing submission meant that you were choosing to surrender, getting your way and instead to follow even when maybe it didn't go the way that you would want it to, I wouldn't even use the word surrender, getting my way because I was proven that my way that I had been trying to operate was not actually serving me.
So you like with all the heart, with all the love you kindly and just genuinely showed me more and more of these paths that I was trying to take in life to get to where I wanted to go was actually not getting me anywhere.
And you would kind of just nudge me over here and say, follow me, I've got you and it wasn't easy at the beginning.
But each time I followed you on one of those, you showed me that you were right.
And the way I had been operating was not serving me like I said, and so now I like by this point in our relationship, I'm like, OK, I admit everything I thought I knew is not it.
And I was, I was just so far off base.
But then as I've, and as I've connected to this feminine essence of my soul inside of me, through connecting with my body, that is where these knowings come from.
And it's a felt, I use the word understanding.
Um But I think like the felt knowing and I've been able to differentiate between the logic of the mind and the ego and the knowing of my body.
And when you, when I've experienced those there is, there is absolutely no arguing.
I don't know what other word to say.
There.
You say the difference between knowing in your mind and knowing in your body.
How would you describe the difference? Of course, you would ask that.
Um Well, as I've connected more in my, to my body, it literally is a felt sense in my probably from my womb to my heart through here versus feeling like disconnected from that.
And, and like just in my head, it's a very, it's a calm, it's a grounded, if you will, it's a, it's a piece um felt experience in the body.
But at the beginning of my journey, when I had a lot of unprocessed emotion from my past, I wasn't able to connect with that, but there was still something of my intuition that was coming forth.
Now, I can say that looking back the way I've experienced that in you, the difference is there's always a sense of confusion to understandings that have you've tried to work your way to through thinking about them, like log logically trying to understand an experience or come to a conclusion based on the facts, you might think you've got it.
But there's always a sense of, I think I've got it and when I experience you knowing something is right for you or knowing that you're on the right path, it's just like this is it, it, it, this is it done.
You know, it's like open and closed case.
Well, and I would say that only got more solid a as I experienced more of that because then I could trust what this felt experience really was.
And yeah, so much as like now it's, yep, I feel that in my body and it's like I am not going to try to understand it because it isn't meant to be understood by the mind by the head.
I'm going to say by the head because we still have a mind.
One of the things that people will occasionally ask us when they hear that you're 24 7 submissive.
Maybe they come across our Instagram account and they see you kneeling, they see you like or even hear you talking in this podcast about how much of yourself you've kind of surrendered to be led by me.
They'll ask questions like, do you still have a voice? Like, do you still get to have an opinion? Oh, yes, absolutely.
I actually speak up way more now than I ever did before.
And now, I think a lot of people would think that's very inconsistent with submission.
Well, yeah, absolutely.
Because there's a very distorted view of, um, what it truly is in the world.
You know, I saw just yesterday, I saw an article on a, I will just say a very, very popular website where people go to learn about being submissive and this article was teaching new or potential submissive how to handle your emotions so that you could shut them down and not bother your dominant with your emotional expression.
Because chances are he's not going to want to deal with that.
You're gonna need to get a, get control of it if you want to be a submissive.
What do you say to that? Um I, all I can do is really just shake my head, I guess.
So it may be sad.
Yeah.
So what I, that's one way of dominance and submission and that's the very distorted.
Um I'm going to call it superficial and the word I'm going to put to that is a doormat, um doormat way of doing submission.
It's turning yourself off and literally like self abandoning.
Then what we've experienced.
And I'm going to speak from my experience is this, this is where the, you know, the feminine and the masculine get to dance together and where we've uncovered the God in each other and the spiritual aspect of the infinite world.
And this is where the love and devotion that we have for each other actually brings forth the true soul's connection, the authentic self.
And I didn't even know if that was possible.
Like, growing up in religion, I was told I have a soul and I was like, oh, ok.
So I have this like thing, there's a ghost in me.
Right.
That's probably what I would think because I heard the terms holy ghost, holy Spirit.
And it was like, ok, but then there's scary ghosts over there.
And I'm like, I don't even know how to reconcile some of friendly ghosts on the cartoons on Saturday morning.
Yeah.
Yeah, Casper.
And so I, I am more of myself.
I've connected to this experience of life that I believe can only fully be felt through my submission to you because of the love and devotion we have for each other and your own connection to truth and consciousness.
And I truly believe our souls are here to experience this together.
Like this is a, this is a powerful thing that again is only felt like words don't do justice to what I feel like has been opened in me to this beautiful infinite chaos of the world.
And I get to use my voice.
I get to share my emotional response and experience of the world with you.
And I get to watch and experience and witness you receive it fully and we dance with it.
Not, not literally but like energetically spiritually.
It's, it's this dance and when I share this with you and you receive it, like I feel that and our lives continue to get better when I just surrender and give that to you along with the love and the gratitude like all of this, this isn't just, this isn't just venting all of the hard challenging emotions we're talking about here.
It's like this is really offering all of your emotional experience.
Exactly.
So as I've read that stored emotional poison of the past, I've come into this bigger experience of the love, the joy, the gratitude again that I didn't know was possible.
And the capacity that I feel those in gets so overwhelming that it just moves through me, into you, through tears, through touch, through love, through sex, through all of that.
And it's just incredible without encouraging your complete and total emotional expression.
There's no way that I could receive all of that beauty that you are sharing there.
And this is like this is why an article like the one I referenced a little bit ago makes me sad.
It really kind of breaks my heart for anyone who's venturing into the world of being a submissive and they're hearing, ok, you're gonna need to learn to shut off your heart.
OK.
So if you learn to shut off your heart, when can you start it up? And when, when do you have to turn it off? When is it OK to share how you feel? And when do you have to not share, like, you're just, that approach is just laying down the building blocks for resentment and there's no other alternative but it's detrimental and destroying.
Yeah.
It's, it's absolutely destructive to a person's soul to shut off, especially to a feminine woman's soul to shut off any part of her emotional expression.
It's why I believe a lot of women are so locked up in their own emotional experiences because they've been told since they were a little girl, don't cry.
It's not ok to be, to be said, like or go in your room until you're done crying and then come back out here like it's all of this.
Your emotion is too much.
So that's a big part of what I've tried to create in this dominant submissive dynamic is a place where there is, there's no such thing as too much because I want all of it.
Like, I want to know all of you and feel all of you.
Yeah.
And it's a, a again like we as feminine beings, submissive but feminine beings because that's the core of who what we are is like we are meant to be emotional.
And that wasn't something that I grew up hearing.
I, I don't like, I don't recall ever being told to not feel, but it wasn't also displayed to me as well.
So, you know, I, I cried but I also stuffed some emotion too and I grew up thinking that anger wasn't OK.
And so I didn't, I don't get angry, like if I did, it was very small.
And so that also experiencing that part of my journey where I was willing to witness in myself, the anger that I didn't allow myself to feel in my past and allow that to come forward and physically move through me.
That also opened up a certain aspect of my infinite capacity to experience all of life.
And like, so women, if you're listening to this and you are like, well, gosh, I don't, I don't, I don't really feel emotion all that much sit with that like there's, there's something there for you that can open your experience of life to something even bigger and better whether you're a submissive or not, whether this is really ringing true for you or not, what else has submission to me unlocked for you and your experience of life? Um I don't know if I would say it unlocked this, but what I also want to speak to is the amount of overthinking that I would do.
The amount of spinning in my mind.
You would overthink and spin in your mind on a daily basis.
And I had no idea how much I did that living in my head, completely disconnected from my feminine woman experience of life.
And so I was living in this survival mode, this protective mode that I couldn't fully what I've uncovered.
Now, looking back that I couldn't fully love someone because I had walls around my heart.
I couldn't fully receive love from other people because I had walls around my heart.
And so that overthinking was my protection mechanism to try to create this safe sense in the world.
And you know, perfectionism was a big thing for where, how that played out for me is trying to get to the perfect life, the perfect everything, the perfect purchase of a hair product, to the perfect workout, to the perfect food to eat, to the perfect decisions I made about my girls to whatever and like everything there was this underlying I'm trying to pick the best option.
And then once I did, it would be even more overthinking and overthinking and overthinking.
And as we've deepened into this and as you've taken over with love so much of those decisions, like all of a sudden it was like, oh wow, this liberation of my head, this freedom, this ability to now experience a different aspect of life because again, this is all part of being able to connect to my body and get out of that head.
So how specifically has been choosing to be a submissive, allowed you to stop overthinking? Well, part of it has just been a beautiful um by product of like giving you thing by thing to lead us in.
But then there's also just some conscious awareness that I've had to like rewire the patterns of the ego and catch it when I'm getting lost in that mind.
Because anytime I'm in my mind, I'm like spinning.
I'm out of my moment to moment experience of life and the deep feel of what I get to experience while on earth.
One of the things I've I've witnessed in your own, like mental calming that you've gone through, especially over the last few years has been the amount of freedom you feel like you said before and not being the one to make certain decisions.
But also having your opinion, like we were talking about a little bit earlier in relation to your desires or what's important to you always be fully heard and considered.
Yes.
So like what I've watched happen for you is the more that you've trusted and let's be real part of this has been me earning this trust, a big part of it.
And then it's been you trusting yourself to speak up and share it and learning that I'm going to handle it with care.
Like it's, it's a like you said, a dance, it's both ways.
But what I've, what I've witnessed, it's been really beautiful has been how much you can share what's important to you and what you care about and what you desire.
And over time drop the attachment to how it's going to go so that I can really make the most, the best, most well informed decision that I can make the best overall decision that usually let's be real.
I can find win, wins.
Like if what you want is different than what I want.
I can normally find a way to make something work that's going to satisfy both of us.
But for you, you've learned how to give all of everything you desire to me and then to really, truly allow yourself to just follow where I go and wherever I take us with that information.
Yeah.
So I'm going to try to make my full point here in response to that.
So, you know, we had eight years of married life together plus two years prior.
So by the point, you asked me, we were together 10 years about self.
And from the very start when we were dating, you gave me an experience of life that I never had before.
Like when you first opened a door for me, I was like, huh be still my heart.
It was impactful.
You gave me the experience of fine wine like, wow, this is amazing.
We went out to dinners, it still blows me away that you thought you didn't like wine when I met you.
And now like, because I had never tried it, I had had church wine for communion.
Seriously.
That's about it.
Um So really, I shouldn't have said I don't like it.
I just never had it.
Um And so even the little things of that in life, they didn't feel little to me like the pleasure that we got to experience was like, wow, I didn't even dream about this stuff because I didn't let myself because I was so in survival mode.
But that's not what my previous life had been.
And there was plenty of that kind of thing over and over.
Like you would take me on a trip and it'd be like, wow, this is incredible.
Except I wouldn't like, actually vocalize all of that gratitude because I, I just wasn't connected to the depth of it in my body.
But anyway, so fast forward.
And when you asked me to be your submissive and you talked about all the ways that you already took charge and led our relationship.
And then me going through recognizing my emotional experience of the world that was so shut off and suppressed and still stored in my body.
I came back to this, recognizing how many times I abandoned myself, I uncovered the lack of self worth.
I uncovered the self hatred.
And all of a sudden I was like, you have always treated me better than I treated myself like have, it's not that like you were perfect and didn't hurt me like we, we had like our own, we have our own imperfections, right? But yeah, but you treated me better than I treated myself.
And that spoke volumes to me.
I had a history of you loving me even in the small ways.
But those are still love.
I'm not diminishing you buying a nice bottle of wine and experiencing with me that is I will receive that all the time as deep love and appreciation and all of that, it just is meaningful to me.
And so as we, as we have both really taken responsibility for who we are and our lives through this dynamic and allowed the pieces of ourselves to burn away that weren't pure to our soul.
It's been easier and easier and easier to surrender to drop my walls and to follow your soul, your connection to the truth and what you bring forth.
And I'm not gonna get into like what that all looks like, but that truly is the felt experience of what we have connected to what I've connected to through my submission of you.
And I think I lost the end of how I needed to circle that back around to the last moment of the question.
It started with overthinking and um, yes, keep going.
Well, we'll just leave that one to, to wind up however it did there.
Um I don't always remember the whole circle of what I'm trying to say.
I've gotten to know you well enough by now that when you, when you are setting out on making a point over a, over a long story that it's probably gonna find its way down some other rabbit hole and end up somewhere else.
Great, but not where you maybe intended it to start.
Yep, that's, that's pretty much me something you said in your unintentional rabbit hole that went somewhere else was you, you mentioned like we're not perfect and it's important to me in the way that we portray our story, that we're not presenting ourselves as the ones who have it all figured out or have always made all the perfect decisions.
We've always tried to be very authentic with what like with our experience of like what it's like to be us.
And of course, we share a lot of what's worked because we want to help other people out there.
That's why we do this.
Like we really do want to help other couples and other individuals who want to find a partner and go down this route.
We do it because we want to help.
And so we share a lot of what works and, and how, how we've been successful.
It does not mean that we have always been successful in like everything we've tried or all of the ways that we've shown up.
Um I it's not even a successful thing or not to, in my opinion, it's really about being real, being open, receptive, being willing to, you know, in my side, be the feminine and ruin the moment and to actually connect to my emotional experience of life and be willing to share that be willing to be called out when I'm out of alignment with who I am.
If it's also for me has been like really owning what I'm following from my ego and you've had your own experience of that.
And so the way I see it is like, could have been more quote unquote, perfect and easy by all means.
Yes, but none of this is meant to be.
And so I, I truly believe that the greatest, the deeper you want to go in a relationship, the more beauty you're going to find in those ashes in the fire.
And it's how you walk through the fires together and how you remain connected to the love and devotion of each other even in the fires is really what becomes this beautiful, deepening of your relationship experience.
And it really has been the, the imperfect the, the, the bigger the collapse or the falling out, the more beauty that we've made out of it.
Mm And, and that hasn't just been because you've been willing to sit down and shut up and let me get away with anything like you, let me get away with nothing like there, there's, I can't, I can't even have like if I have an off moment, you feel it, I don't get away with anything.
Ok.
That, that might need to be a whole another podcast because that could really, really be taken a whole way of not how you're intending that statement.
I know what you mean by that.
Well, let me at least make clear what I mean by it is if I'm out of integrity, it impacts you.
You feel it right now and I care too much about you to not do something about that.
When my actions or my own imperfections impact you, it impacts me.
And then therefore I'm called to do something about it.
That's what I mean, when I say I don't get away with anything is I don't, I'm not trying to get away with anything but you've like, you've always been unable to stop yourself from wearing on your sleeve.
The pain that you feel when I'm mhm Not acting with integrity.
And that again goes back to the speaking up and being willing to share my emotional experience.
Because if I didn't speak up in those moments, the resentment will start to build and, and you can't actually lead us, yeah, in certain ways to that quote unquote better life, you can't lead us to more of life, an abundant life.
If I'm not in my authentic experience and willing to share it, it's shutting down something about the depths of what we get to connect to in life.
And so as I've been willing to ruin the moment, as I've been willing to connect with my deepest essence, more and more and more and just understand the infinite capacity of that you, then i it's like my gift to you.
That's where submission is a gift.
Because now through me, you connect to something and through you, I get to connect to something bigger as well.
And that's where I call this the spiritual dance.
You mentioned, you mentioned something about being able to speak up and we talked before about the like that being a submissive doesn't mean that you shut down your emotional experience.
Being a submissive means that you amplify your emotional experience and you allow it to live fully, right? And so you mentioned this phrase ruining the moment.
What does it mean when you say ruin the moment? And how does that not turn you into the dom? Hm.
How would I so simply put, if let's say something you did made me angry, I'm going to share that anger with you.
What if we're in the middle of a restaurant? I'm gonna share it with you.
I probably wouldn't get on the floor and throw a temper tantrum even if the anger wanted to move physically.
If I felt that I, I wouldn't need to cause a scene but, or let's say, let's say this, um, you had a date night planned and we're getting ready to go and I, we're all excited and all of a sudden like something in me is just like either it's don't go or I'm physically feeling ill.
I have to be willing to share that and ruin if you will quote unquote, the maybe fun date night, we could have had and be willing to share it with you and that you make the decision of, is there a plan b that we're gonna go do instead or does it mean we're staying home or whatever that is, or are we going anyway? Well, that's what I'm saying.
Like, any of those things, depending on what came up.
Maybe it's, oh, my gosh, I'm afraid I, like, I'm gonna, whatever, just living by fear, be willing to share that with you and then surrender to what you decide as well but not be afraid to.
Like, if I'm angry at you, not be afraid to hurt your feelings because your feelings aren't my responsibility.
But if I'm angry at you for something you did, I trust you that if, if I'm actually like, if there's actually something there because like you can get angry kind of from your own ego where if you're falling for a distorted truth or something of the sort.
Um But let's be real.
I've made you angry before.
And so I know that you're going to take responsibility and receive all of my anger.
You welcome it.
You want it all because now you have all of that as information on how you can show up better and um act out of alignment and integrity again.
So ruining the moment is being willing to share your emotional experience that you're having, even if it's inconvenient to, to the current surroundings or even when it's uncomfortable when it's uncomfortable.
And you know, that doesn't mean like you said, throwing a temper tantrum on the floor of a restaurant, but like if you're angry, you gotta be angry.
Now, not later when it's safer when you're alone.
Not just act like I'm just gonna show up and pretend that I'm having fun while we're having dinner.
Right? Because that doesn't go well for anyone.
No, it like, completely takes you out of the experience that you were there to have and that you actually could have if you're willing to voice the anger and let it move through you and then let go of it.
How is that a submissive thing to do? Well, hm, again, I'm gonna say it this way.
And so you might have a different way to describe it, but I am a feminine being.
And if I want to actually be my feminine essence, that it means being connected to my emotional experience of life and expressing it always like it's a commitment that I've made to myself and a commitment I've made to you because you need it.
And we like, we've, we've danced with all of that like when you're willing, when we've been willing to go there, when you gave me this, what felt like permission and you were like, bring me your emotion, bring me your emotion again, not just the anger, the rage, the sadness, the grief, not just those bring me all of your emotional experience.
And when I said yes to myself, to let myself feel them and yes to express them, we've connected to something beyond ourselves in life and it opened up the emotion, like the true emotional connection of our relationship as a whole.
Right? And so if I shut that down, you feel it, I feel it and it doesn't feel good to either one of us.
The way that I believe that this emotional expression is actually the most submissive thing to do is because I witnessed you in all of the ways that you would shut down your expression.
And when you do and like any man who's listening to this knows the feeling when his woman shuts down, when she's just not there, when she's not, when she's off in her head or she's just, she's clamped down.
Every guy knows that feeling and it, like it is a very helpless place to be as a, as a man who cares about and loves you, your wife, your girlfriend, your partner.
So there's a reason that a feminine being shuts down when she shuts down, something has happened inside of her where she feels uncomfortable with moving the energy of, of speaking up or expressing or feeling what she's feeling.
So she stops it.
So in that moment, you have become your own dominant, you've become your own, you've decided for yourself that what is and isn't ok for you to feel an experience.
And it's not an easy thing for you to do or it wasn't an easy thing for you to learn how to do to actually set that free And so it is a very submissive thing to do to share all of your emotions in the moment that you feel them because you have to let go of your own self control.
Yes, you have to let go of the ways that you have bottled yourself up and it is not you trying to control the situation.
It is you being set free of your own self control of your own inner shutting down and it, but frankly, it's, it's vulnerable, right? Like I've, I've witnessed this in you over and over again.
The extreme vulnerability that you feel when you share an emotion that you're afraid isn't OK to feel because you, you're essentially waiting for it to be clamped down or shot down or for it to be on help.
So I see it as a very submissive thing to do to trust me enough to actually feel your feelings in the moment.
Yes, because also back to the other way we speak to this is then it's, you know, the depths of what my experience is and you can lead out of that because it, however you want to say that because I know what's going on inside of you.
Exactly.
So if I would shut my experience down and just go along with whatever you had to say, we wouldn't be where we are today.
It's only through and this was like this is like submissive 101 like you have to connect to your emotional experience of life.
It's the doorway into the bigger aspect of all that is and it has given you all of the information or through that channel, the information you need to help me be more of myself, to guide me to more of myself.
So being submissive means in this, in this relationship, it means sharing your emotional experience.
It means having a voice, it means speaking up, it means being taken care of and allowing yourself to be looked after.
It means being willing to express your preferences without attachment to them.
What are the downsides? What's, what are the hard parts? That's two different questions.
OK.
That's two very different questions.
Answer the first one.
What are the downsides? I don't have any downsides.
OK? What are the hard parts? Well, there's been a lot of hard along the way.
I, I would say the hardest part if I had to simplify it is learning how to dance with your own ego, learning how to say no to it but extend love to it at the same time because that, that was my protection and my ego served a purpose.
But then once I shone light on it and through submission, recognized all that's who I thought I was by my ego going all the way back to childhood, that's actually not who and I was meant to be before the world got to me.
And so that's been this journey of coming back home to who I was created to be and identifying each time where I fall into the old patterns and behaviors of the past.
So it hasn't been easy, but it's been so worth it.
Like, why do I choose the mission? Because my life is a hell of a lot better because of it.
And I don't, I get to share my desires, everything I want in life and I give it to you.
Do I have to have every desire? No, that's like, is it possible to? Absolutely.
But I don't have to figure that out.
I get to live in an experience of life that feels like freedom being connected to who I am when I didn't even know that I wasn't connected to who I am.
So you make my life really, really easy and it feels really, really good to give myself back to you.
And I think that's a beautiful place to wrap this up.
Thank you for sharing so openly what your experience is.
And if anyone listening to or watching this finds this podcast and if the things that we talk about here resonate with you, please reach out to us.
This is what we do is we teach people, individuals, couples, how it is that you can live this life and how you can find your way to your own version of what it is that we've walked into.
We started doing this because no one was sharing this stuff when we started and to go looking for resources for loving couples trying to connect power exchange dynamics into a relationship that's filled with love and devotion didn't really exist.
And so we really are proud to be able to support you by offering this podcast, but also through all the other things that we do together to bring this, this love and this devotion that we found for each other into the world.
So thank you for listening and we really do appreciate all of you.
Yes, thank you so much
