007 - How People Pleasing Poisons Submission

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Submission is an active state. It is a choice to surrender certain parts of life to the authority of a Dominant partner who the submissive trusts to take charge and lead in those areas. 

People pleasing is silent by nature. It is the attempt to secure love or affection by behaving in ways that the pleaser believes (mostly subconsciously) will compel their partner to treat them the way they want to be treated. Often, it shows up by going along with whatever the other person wants while ignoring one’s own needs completely. 

A healthy Dominant/submissive dynamic says all of this out loud. Both parties agree that the Dominant is in charge, the submissive will obey. 

People pleasing says it covertly. The pleaser wants her Dominant to treat her a certain way, so she begins to act in ways that she believes will get her treated that way. In our dynamic, I take control, lead, and make decisions. All things I like. It allows Dawn to relax, be feminine, and experience the emotional freedom of not being the one in control. All things she likes. 

We have equal power to pursue the relationship we want to have. I have the authority to make those desires into reality. 

In this episode, we dive into people pleasing, authenticity, and authentic expression in a way that any submissive, or any Dominant who wants to treat a submissive with love and respect, needs to hear. We hope you enjoy!


Free resource for men looking to become more Dominant without losing their heart: https://www.infinitedevotion.com/12-steps-to-dominance


The Infinite Devotion podcast, hosted by Andrew & Dawn is a place for deep, authentic conversations about Dom/sub dynamics inside of healthy loving relationships.

We are a married couple who have been living 24/7 Dom/sub since 2018. When we realized how few resources there were for those looking to have healthy relationships with intense power dynamics, we started to share our story in hopes of offering to others what we didn't have...an example of how D/s, love, and intimacy can all work together beautifully.

You can find more from us, including all of our mentorship and coaching programs and courses that we offer in support of Dominants, submissives, and Dom/sub couples online at the following links:

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